What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
