a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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