I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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