i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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