YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
