So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
