Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
