Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
