I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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