I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dicks are not precious.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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