at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
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my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
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I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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