Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
