Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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