3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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