And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
