She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
