uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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