Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
