Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
