We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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