Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
FUCK WHALES
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
