i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
