so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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