True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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