OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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