I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize