Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
