I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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