So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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