Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
