i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
