we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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