If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
