you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
