Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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