Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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