Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
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We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
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i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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