The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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