Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
