week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
