Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
