Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize