i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize