Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize