508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize