My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize