I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
