but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize