I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
