someone threw a dead crab at me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
