Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
