Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
