He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize