Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
